From the design guru's of Kiln & Clay, here's a delightful guide on how to get those tiles down with a bit of British flair:

1. Prep the Playground
Before you embark on your tiling escapade, ensure your canvas is as clean as a whistle. Sweep away the remnants of your last DIY disaster – any speck of dust, old tile shards, or the tears from your last project. If the surface is as wonky as a British sitcom, level it out with a bit of self-levelling magic. Porous, you say? Slap on some primer like it's suncream on a Brit abroad.

2. Measure, Plan, and Then Measure Again
You wouldn't pour tea without knowing the size of the cup, so don't tile without measuring. Mark your territory with a chalk line, creating a majestic grid that would make the Queen proud. Dry-fit those tiles first – it’s like a dress rehearsal for your bathroom floor.

3. Adhesive: The Sticky Wicket
Choose your glue wisely. It's like picking the right tea for breakfast – crucial. Cement-based for the posh tiles, ready-mixed for the everyday ceramic. Spread it like you’re icing a Victoria Sponge, but remember, only enough to keep your tiles snug for a brief British summer (10-15 minutes).

4. Cutting Tiles: Not as Easy as Slicing Scones
Measure thrice, cut once. Use your tools – the cutter, the saw, the nipper (sounds like a pub crawl). And suit up! Safety glasses, gloves, and a mask – think of it as your tiling tuxedo.

5. Grouting: It’s All in the Wrist
Once your tiles are cosily in place, it's time for grout. Use a rubber float as if you’re spreading clotted cream on a scone. Wipe away the excess with a sponge – remember, gentle circles, like stirring tea. Let it dry, then buff off the haze as if you're polishing the family silver.

6. The Final Flourish: Clean and Seal
After the grout's had its nap, give the tiles a once-over with a damp cloth. It's like cleaning up after a tea party. Seal it to protect from the inevitable British spills and stains. Follow the instructions – they’re not just for decoration.

There you have it, a guide to tiling that's as sturdy as a double-decker bus and as refined as afternoon tea. Remember, when in doubt, consult your local tile whisperer. With a bit of practice and a steady hand, you'll be tiling like it's a British Bake Off challenge. Cheerio and happy tiling!

P.S: Reading this before selecting your tiles? Why not order up to 5 FREE samples so that you can purchase with confidence.